Oscar the Mountain Man was a key to our survival in the wild this last winter.

It was his skill and cunning that helped us start a fire with a shoelace and a twig, catch a deer with a sock and a bar of soap, and defeat the Obiminable Snowman in a footrace...

If you believe any of this, you've got problems. Oscar was crying the whole time.

Actually, we love Oscar and hope he has a great freshman year in highschool and pray he doesn't end up in too many trash cans.